And the Rapper Says Thank You...

I'm not the one to cry. I'm not even the one to really get choked up over anything. At times I even think it takes an onion just to remind me that my tear ducts actually work. Don't ask me how it happened, but ya girl actually got a bit choked up on my way to work this morning.

While listening to Jazmine Sullivan sing about falling in love with another man, everything just hit me at once. I could suddenly hear Darwin telling me that I needed to get ready to write my autobiography because I was gonna be somebody important. I suddenly felt a sense that I was on the edge overlooking something big that I was about to walk into with all the confidence in the world.

I stated it first in my Dear Hater letter. I am motivated by haters. They are my fuel. The hater fueling my writing career is the very first hater I ever had. It was the asshole at The Call Newspaper who misquoted me when I almost had a children's book published in elementary school. He flipped my words and quoted me as saying that the writing part was hard but the illustrations were fun and easy. Hell, the illustrations were the hard part! I couldn't draw for shit so I used various types of paper and cut out little shapes to piece my drawings together. It took forever!!!!!

Making matters worse, he said that my early success would most likely not lead to anything. Who the hell was he to announce to the world that there was a slim to none chance I'd actually get anywhere where this writing thing?! If I wasn't so upset at being misquoted, I really could have gotten discouraged by his remark. I still have the newspaper clipping and am hell bent on stalking him and sending him a copy of the article along with other articles I've had published writing BY me in a newspaper 100x bigger than the one he wrote for. I also plan to send it with a copy of the book, and an article about my book.

He popped my Hater Cherry!

The feeling I felt in the car was so much deeper than the satisfaction of showing somebody up that worked against me in life. I felt a sense of purpose. Like everything in my life had built up to this very moment. To this book. If I would have never gone through the things I had gone through....If I had never met the people I had met.....If I had never made the decisions I made (good and bad)....this book would have never come to be.

I just really took time to thank God for everything. I finally understood why so many rappers thank God despite their often unruly lyrics. God truly takes you as you are. The more messed up you are, the more he can do with you. God changes you, but he does not change who YOU are. Those rappers realize that they got where they are because of Him even if the general public doesn't know their full story. The same applies with me. I look back over my life, and realized it was nothing but God.

I feel like I'm sitting on a best seller. I stand behind my book 100% and am fully prepared to throw every resource I have into this to see it through. I know if I put in the hard work, God will carry it to where it needs to be. He's gonna open the doors and I just have to have enough stamina to walk through them. I feel like I am beginning to fulfill the prophecy a man told me after praying for me. I just feel it in the very depths of my soul that I am somebody important at this very moment...

....Even if the world doesn't know it yet.

The Bible: I Have Questions

"Hell, if granny doesn't know, do you think I will?!"
Warning: This post may rile your feathers, piss you off, or you may want to stone me, but this is my blog so...
SHUT THE HELL UP or CLOSE THE DAMN WINDOW!!!

Any true scholar has an open mind. Not so open that your brains fall on the floor, but you are open to learn. Well, this scholar was forced into taking theology classes at Rockhurst University by an atheist. Before you gasp and write angry letters to the university saying how atheists shouldn't be allowed to teach a class on theology, open your mind. In my opinion, atheists are great unbiased teachers. It's not that they are devil worshipers, they just don't believe in anything. They teach facts. I like facts. Before you go getting all bent out of shape, I am also a Christian & I believe in faith (it's even tat'd on my wrist in Arabic).

As a child, I was raised by two parents who met in theology school. I figured they should know everything there is to know. Problem is, they had to much faith and not enough facts. My biggest question was always, how the Bible was written. The answer I always received was: Prophets were inspired by God. Call me cynical, but that answer just simply isn't acceptable to an inquisitive mind. My next question, was how? I imagined prophets sitting in a room lit with a single candle and a quil pen as God spoke to them. At times, I hear the voice of God, but it sure isn't enough to write a whole book about. Maybe I'm just not prophetic enough.

I finally got my answer in 2006.

The Bible was writen over a course of many many MANY years. Each book of the Bible has a specific purpose and an agenda. The scrolls were collected and stored at churches, then the version known as the King James Version was translated during his rule...around 1611. Take a break from reading my blog and Wiki: Authorized King James Version. I'll wait....

I'm not doubting that the men who actually wrote the original words of the Bible aren't holy, but I'm questioning the intent of the 47 scholars that edited this holy book. I quote:

"The king gave the translators instructions designed to guarantee that the new version would conform to the ecclesiology and reflect the episcopal structure of the Church of England and its beliefs about an ordained clergy."

If this doesn't raise questions in your mind, I don't know what does. The purpose of this post is NOT to turn people away from God, I'm just raising questions & looking for answers. I'm no historian, but I know for a fact that rulers don't always have the purest intentions in mind. They often use their power to push their own beliefs on others. I also know for a fact that the original Bible consisted of several more books that have mysteriously dissapeared. What information did those books contain? How much of the original content from the surviving books, actually made it into this version that so many Christians hold dear to their hearts? What exactly was the Church of England's "ecclesiology" and "episcopal structure" in 1604 when translation began?

My next concern has to do with the actual translation of the Bible. I'm speaking of the very first step: Translating the books of the Bible from their original languages into English.

I studied Latin for 3 years and Spanish for 3 years. I know how difficult the process of translating things can be. Among the obvious roadblocks and plain 'ol human error, think about the words in other languages that simply don't exist in English. English doesn't even have a direct equivalent word for them. I can give you a few examples:

1. Waldeinsamkeit (German): the feeling of being alone in the woods
2. Ilunga (Tshiluba, Congo): a person who is ready to forgive any abuse for the first time, to tolerate it a second time, but never a third time
3. Esprit de l’escalier (French): a witty remark that occurs to you too late, literally on the way down the stairs…

I wonder how many words in the original texts of the Bible left scholars searching for ways to explain them in English? How many words were simply mistakenly mistranslated?

My last concern is about the actual content in the Bible. I've heard several conflicting instructions. A few pastors have told me that the Old Testament is the "Old Law" and is no longer followed. You should only follow the New Testament, the "New Law." I don't think all Christians got the memo.

After you figure out weither to pay attention to both testaments or pick just one, you have to then choose which instructions to follow and which to classify as outdated and ignore. One verse in the Bible says you shouldn't play with the skin of a pig. Does that mean football players are comiting a sin? Another part says women should not dress in men's clothing. Pant suits were once considered mens clothing. Do I need to ask God for forgiveness for owning a few? Should protestors be stationed outside of Express, The Limited, and Banana Republic for selling them? It only seems fair since they stand outside of Planned Parenthood and harass pregnant women.

What gives any one the right to choose to ignore these principles but follow principles that deem sex before marriage or same-sex unions a sin? In stating this, I'm not stating any of my personal beliefs. I'm merely asking questions.

Google: Inconsistencis in the Bible

The list is endless. I don't feel the need to elaborate.

IN CONCLUSION

I am more spiritual than religious. I beleive in a close and personal relationship with God/Jesus. I believe in prayer or just having a conversation with him. I take the Bible for what it is. I think it contains great stories of how God has worked in people's lives. It's kinda like one big book of testimonies. I believe it can be a great source of wisdom, but I'm not going to follow it to the letter. If that makes me a bad Christian then oh well. God knows my heart. The part I will follow to the letter is the 10 Commandments. They make the most sense to me and I whole-heartidly believe that God wrote them himself. If you notice, they aren't judgemental, they don't condem other people, and most center around the famous Golden Rule. In my opinion, that's what Christianity is all about. God's love.

Labor Day: Are You Gay?

Today of course is Labor Day, so me and my mom cooked for her friends. I took a video of the festive food!
(Gotta have the Louisiana hot sauce)

The dinner guests consisted of me, my mom, my grandmother, my god mother & two women from the church. After dinner we got to talking about some current issues. First of all, it must be known that they are all 50+. The topic of gay marriage came up. I'm young and very liberal so I'm not totally against the idea. It was my first time even talking about with anyone, let alone old heads. Gay, Lesbian & Transgendered people totally gross them out. Being the hard core Christians they are, they said it was a spirit. They all agreed: "Yep, definitely a spirit." Of course I'm respectful and also wise so I chose to keep my mouth shut for the most part, but I felt that was an unfair accusation. A person likes a person of the same sex, or feels they were born the wrong sex so they must be possessed by some sort of evil spirit. I was happy that one woman brought up the point of gender assignment and how some people really are assigned to the wrong gender at birth.

I'm Christian, but I hate seeing other Christians turn their noses up at people for committing a sin that we are actually unsure about. I feel that people should be able to do whatever the hell they like as long as it doesn't stop my paycheck from coming. It's not my place to pass judgment or tell you that you are surely going to hell. A girl I went to elementary school once said: "I chose to be gay the same day you chose to be straight." That's real. I'm not a lesbian so I have no idea what it feels like to be attracted to the same sex. Who am I to tell someone that they actively choose to like the same sex when in actuality, it was not a choice at all. I can't prove that it's not biological just like you can't prove it's spiritual.

Let people do what they do. Only God can judge them. Only God can judge me.