Hello My Name Is: Mr. FukyAfeELiNgS!

I'm not sure if it's because I'm sick and my Aunty Patty is visiting, but this weekend Mr. FukyAFeELiNgS! ran rampant in my life. Without going into details, Mr. FukyAFeELiNgS! possessed three pivotal individuals in my life. Usually I can handle Mr. FukyAFeELiNgS! with style and grace, but this visit is different. The book comes with its fair share of stress, and I've worn my body down. Working 40hrs a week then writing at night is starting to take it's toll.

The funny thing about Mr. FukyAFeELiNgS! is, he only seems to appear when you are trying to make moves in life. He targets whatever area in your life, in whatever way he can, to truly leave you feeling fucked. If you don't identify him early on, he can really do some emotional harm.

Mr. FukyAFeELiNgS! is a sneaky critter, and his tactics are always effective. Even when the damage is undone (or actually harmless), the damage he does on your feelings will last for quite a while. Feelings are fragile, and don't easily heal like wounds. They are complicated and never seem to respond to the messages your brain sends them.

Congratulations Mr. FukyAFeELiNgS!, you've won this round, but I'm not down and out yet. I know I'll be seeing you sooner than later, and I have a feeling you'll actually be in town for a while. Your visits only mean that I'm doing something right in life so I'll holla at you boo!

A Hustler's Ambition

It's another one of those nights where my brain won't shut off. One idea gives way to the next, which leads to another, until I get no rest. I have A Hustler's Ambition. The nerdy part of me advocates sleep. Sleep is my body's way of resting and resetting. The hustler in me says, "Hell No!" In a state of temporary unconscious rest, I won't be able to brainstorm. I loose 8 hours of thoughts. Who knows what great thoughts I coulda thunk up.

Is my fear unnatural? Possibly. When I told the docs how my brain works, they put me on meds for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I really thought I was messed up til I got to see Diddy in action. If little sleep will turn me into a mogul, I'm with it. I'm down for the cause. I'm creating imaginary picket signs and directing supporters to man the lines surrounding my pillow.

Picket signs may be a tad too extreme, but you get the point.

A true Hustler's Ambition is to be at the top of your game at all times. For me that means being well rested so I can have a successful day at my 9-5. A successful day there gives me the resources to fund my hustle ("The Miseducation of an Urban Nerd").

In actuality, sleep is my hustle. It's nothing to fear. Usually I say, "I can sleep when I'm dead. If a lack of sleep shortens my life, at least you'll know I lived every minute of it!"

I'm still shoutin it, but my employed ass needs to keep it that way. Time to count sheep. I'm sleep.