25 Completely Random Facts About Me!

1. Open toilets freak me out....Ajar doors/drawers bug me...the world needs order and organization!!!

2. I'm in love with houndstooth (is that one word), that's the best pattern known to woman!!!

3. I always wanted to do a pageant but didn't have the balls so I crowned myself Miss Show Me State and have the sash to prove it bitches!

4. I think deaf people have no business talking. You've never heard words so dammit don't try to talk and think I won't giggle.

5. I've had an unnatural love for yellow smiley faces since I was in the 5th grade.

6. I think women with natural hair have a certain glow about them other women just don't have.

7. I like my pasta extra juicy!!!!

8. I haven't been a cheerleader, stretched, danced or done anything athletic since I was 19 but I can still drop it into the splits! Heyyyy booo!!!!

9. I initially wanted to become a writer because a reporter at The Call Newspaper misquoted me when I was in the 3rd grade....I'm on a never ending mission to prove that jerk wrong! Early success DOES mean a career in writing.

10. The only accidents I have ever been in involved objects that could not move....yea, i'm the idiot that hits parked cars, poles, and flower pots.

11. Sometimes when nobody's looking and I have on noisy shoes, I break into steps from college...PHI-HI-PSI-EEEEE

EE!!!!!!!

12. I'm completely addicted to scripted reality TV & I talk about the cast members as if I know them from "round the way"

13. I have a MAC and I think people who still use PCs are LOOSERS!!!

14. I think women who wear leggings as PANTS look a damn hot ass mess. If you can't afford skin tight pants then don't pick up a pair of cheap ass $7.99 Lycra leggings! Leggings are leggings and Pants are pants...learn the difference before you walk out the house.

15. I feel people with European hair have no business getting dreadlocks. It looks a mess. Spend the extra $300-$500 and get dreadlock extensions.

16. Besides my homie Crystal & Goldie, my inner circle of friends have been down for AT LEAST 8yrs....with most (like Miss Brittany!) dating back to elementary school.

17. I only date men with skinny ankles.

18. I love my body just the way it is: stretch marks.....tummy.....and big ol head!!

19. I only have one regret in life and it has taught me what it means to be a BFF. R.I.P Demarco Harvey

20. I hardly ever wear heels because narrow shoes are to hard to find. I have a shoe fetish and wish to GOD a designer like Steve Madden would make sum shoes in something other than in a B...I'm tired of AA being ignored!!!!

21. If I can help it, nothing but Victoria's Secret will ever come close to my va-jay-jay or tah tah's!!!!

22. I don't remember what life was like before a touch screen phone.....how do you navigate?....u mean u have to push buttons and the screen doesn't change to landscape? People still pay for ringtones and applications? Wow.

23. My dog has 3 names....Faith Nicole Taylor

24. My friends are much closer to me than my family. My friends are my family.

25. Clark Atlanta University has managed to screw me out of my scholarship for 3yrs (and running), but I still think it's the best school in the world and your school is crap!!! And yes...I'm still waiting on the MARTA which specializes in Moving Africans Rapidly Through Atlanta....I do think cafeterias should have DJs....I think your school is wack because BET never visits....I do still remember when Shange's Mic was cut off during homecoming....I remember being cheap and watching homecoming concerts in Bumstead Cafe' (KANYE DIDN'T KEEP ME WAITING!!!)....I only attend football games til halftime...I was a member of the extra crunk group of females ready to fight Morehouse along with Brawley at the football game....I still think my OG is the best.....I still feel you should dress to impress to go to class....and finally, I do know that Morehouse Men secretly love a down to earth CAU Woman!

Snip - Mothafuckin' - Snip

Man o man, this new year has been nuts! Usually the new years doesn't mean much to me because I've been a student for so many years. My years begin in September and end in May. This year is so different. I can tell 2009 is gonna be nuts!

I've just learned so much about myself, and have really began to apply what I've learned about life to the way I live life. My sex detox taught me all about choices. I learned that not all men are low down dirty scoundrels....the ones I happened to CHOOSE to have in my life were. I have CHOSEN to snip them out, and I'm happier because of it.

Call me a lazy bitch, but I'm not much of a cleaner. My idea of cleaning is throwing/giving away everything I can before even picking up an actual cleaning supply. I have so much crap, it will be replaced by some new crap, and when it comes time to move...it all suddenly becomes crap!

Put a pair of life sized scissors in my hands and it's SNIP MOTHAFUCKIN' SNIP!!!

Just as the sex detox made the concept of CHOICE crystal clear, I thought hey...."What other areas of my life do I have a say-so in?" Usually I pray that God closes doors and removes people from my life that have no business being there, and within a few days drastic stuff happens. This is the first time I didn't pray that prayer. Amazingly, the most crazy things occurred.

I don't know if God opened my eyes and allowed me to have several epiphanies, but I finally saw the light. I realized that there are two types of dramatic events that happen in your life.

1. Things you can control.
2. Things you can't control.

It's just that simple.

Most people throw everything into the CAN'T control category, when the opposite is really true. Some decisions may by hard, but you can actually control 98% of what happens in your life. In two specific situations/relationships I had to take a step back. I realized that I do not have to deal with the bullshit or the drama. I am CHOOSING to deal with it. In 2009 I CHOOSE not to entertain it. SNIP MOTHAFUCKIN' SNIP!!!

I'm throwing caution to the wind and running with scissors. Life is to short to waste dealing with drama. I'm not an IT department and I don't enjoy troubleshooting things. I will not troubleshoot a troubled relationship I had no business continuing anyway. SNIP MOTHAFUCKIN' SNIP!!!

Note: Relationships do not necessarily have to be romantic. Relationships can also mean friendships or even associations.

Jazzy, Jasmine, Jaz: The Evolution

This book truly marks the end of a period of darkness in my life. From here on out I'm moving upwards in life. I feel every milestone needs to be marked by some drastic event so you remember it's a milestone...that's what I'm doing.

Today marks a new day in my evolution.

I'm under the dryer changing my hair color to a fierce family of red's and blondes. Then I'm off to a new stylist to get freshly twisted and styled. You didn't expect me to take this 2007 hair into 2009 did you?! Hell no! I gotta stay flyy baby! Then I'm off to get a pedicure with my sister Tonya...gotta get the feet right for the new year!! Lastly, I'll be getting a west african adinkra symbol meaning: Wisdom, Creativity & The Complexities of Life. That tat will go behind my right ear so it can be close to my thoughts. It will be the final indication of the evolved me.

In my youth I was Jazzy.
In my teens I was Jasmine.
As a young adult, I am Jaz.

The evolution is never complete!

The Story, My Testimony, This is Me.

It All Falls Down

New Years Eve is irrelevant in my life. I could care less that when the clock strikes 12 a new year will be here and everybody can supposedly start fresh. I may have been a Thanksgiving Grinch, but I swear I'm not for this holiday.

December 31, 2005 just happens to be the day I woke up...couldn't feel my knees...collapsed...couldn't walk for a few months...temporarily lost my scholarship...got put on a bunch of meds (with crazy side effects) I didn't need...yada yada ya.

This day has a new significance in my life. On January 1st, 2006 I wasn't celebrating the coming of a new year. I was in Atlanta with swollen joints, scared as hell, worried about the future, and in tons of pain. Not much of a holiday is it?

I've been negatively affected by that day for exactly three years. Today I am putting a stop to it. On the day everything started, I am choosing to end it. Instead of waking up as I did January 1st, 2006, I will wake up refreshed and thankful for everything. I will feel optimistic, I'll know God hasn't forgotten about me, and I'm officially closing that chapter of my life. The dark ages are now over.

Hello My Name Is: Mr. FukyAfeELiNgS!

I'm not sure if it's because I'm sick and my Aunty Patty is visiting, but this weekend Mr. FukyAFeELiNgS! ran rampant in my life. Without going into details, Mr. FukyAFeELiNgS! possessed three pivotal individuals in my life. Usually I can handle Mr. FukyAFeELiNgS! with style and grace, but this visit is different. The book comes with its fair share of stress, and I've worn my body down. Working 40hrs a week then writing at night is starting to take it's toll.

The funny thing about Mr. FukyAFeELiNgS! is, he only seems to appear when you are trying to make moves in life. He targets whatever area in your life, in whatever way he can, to truly leave you feeling fucked. If you don't identify him early on, he can really do some emotional harm.

Mr. FukyAFeELiNgS! is a sneaky critter, and his tactics are always effective. Even when the damage is undone (or actually harmless), the damage he does on your feelings will last for quite a while. Feelings are fragile, and don't easily heal like wounds. They are complicated and never seem to respond to the messages your brain sends them.

Congratulations Mr. FukyAFeELiNgS!, you've won this round, but I'm not down and out yet. I know I'll be seeing you sooner than later, and I have a feeling you'll actually be in town for a while. Your visits only mean that I'm doing something right in life so I'll holla at you boo!

Prying Eyes

Nothing aggravates me more than a person so bored with their own life that they seek entertainment by closely monitoring yours. One of my good friends has this quote. "If it doesn't stop your paycheck from coming, why are you worried?"

My sentiments exactly.

For my avid blog followers, you know that I don't hold back. My blog is balls-to-the-wall and I allow you to explore my inner most workings as I chronicle my life as a supaflyy lady. If you aren't satisfied with the information I am willing to divulge in my blog, then you are just one nosy, extremely boring, lil' shit wad. I understand your life may be boring, and mine may intrigue you enough to want to know more. Trust me, there's a reason why all facts of my life aren't posted on here.

1. IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS
2. IT'S THE INTERNET - SEARCH-ABLE BY ALL
3. NO REALLY, IT'S NONE OF YOUR GOT DAMN BUSINES!

If your prying ass can't get that through your head & feel you are entitled (for no particular reason) to know every juicy detail about me (such as who I'm sex'N), you need to seek therapy.

• VH1 has not done a special on me
• You did not see my face on E!
• I was not featured on the cover of The National Inquirer

I'm not saying I'm not a big deal, because I am kinda a big deal (haha!...it's a joke, lighten up). All I'm saying is, there are people who live way more interesting lives than me. Your nosy ass needs to subscribe to a tabloid magazine and get the hell outta my face.

The State of the Black Woman

On account of my Haunted Vagina,
I pretty much quit writing poetry and spoken word pieces
My long time friend (elementary school ya'll) needed help with her talent for the
Miss Black & Gold pageant taking place at the University of Kansas
so I told that ghost to get the hell out!
This is the result...

"The State of Black Women"

Phenomenal
Phenomenal like Maya Angelou phenomenal
I'm Phenomenal

Phenomenal like I'm one of those rare women who recognize that I have generations of ingenuity, persistence, determination, and the resilience of those who've gone before me - running through my veins

I'm Phenomenal

I respect that women have already paved the way and all I have to do is walk straight.
I have sense enough not to deviate.

I'm trying to tell ya'll - I'm Phenomenal

Phenomenal women set the standard

We are the standard
We over achieve the standard
We make the mold of the well-rounded woman then break it so that we ourselves can become the upgraded version

We are the prototype of the desired friend, sister, wife, confidant, scholar, athlete, corporate woman, entrepreneur, entertainer, and leader

We are second to none
Surpassed by none
And by the time anyone comes remotely close to outshining us...
Their bulb has already gone dim

--------

But where are we?

I mean,
I'm phenomenal and I know you see me
But ME aint WE
Where have all the phenomenal women gone?

Black women like to complain about Black men not being men

Let's see...
Jail
Gay
Down Low
Dead before twenty-three

Sounds like an endangered species to me

Do these over analyzing women ever take the time to evaluate their own diminished numbers of phenomenalisim?

I think not.

They strip themselves of the title every time they drop it like it's hot to a jam that refers to them as...Well...I don't need to go there
My message is typical.

But if it's so typical, why is it that there has only been one nationally publicized stand?

It took place when Spelman banned Nelly

Did you even hear about it?
Did you even care?

(We Failed)

By not recognizing our beauty and self-worth, we've allowed outside sources to define it for us.
Instead of building each other up - we knock each other down
Instead of getting love from our sistahs - We choose to self-destruct as we seek to fill voids

We become groupies or waste deep in debt as we search for solace in material possessions.
We ditch our pinstripe suits for outfits so skimpy we make hairless chihuahuas look furry.
All in an attempt to attract a man to fill the void of an absent father.

We've got to do better

We let 'em Raw Dawg and end up with babies.
"It's No Fun If His Friend Can't Have Sum!"
So we end up on Maury
Got five men on stage, convinced the sixth just gotta be it
"Yea, I know he's it."

Baby got the same curve in the pinky toe
And if you squint your right eye
And stand on one leg
And lean to the left
I'd be DAMMED if they don't look the same!

I'm sayin...

Where have all the phenomenal women gone?
Where are the women of the 90s who were so independent, they refused to support a man who couldn't do the same?
When did women stop learning how to be women and think just cuz they got that good good and can throw down on a box of Hamburger Helper, they deserve to be wifey?

What qualified these underqualiied women to insist there are no good men worthy of marrying, when they didn't check themselves in the mirror?

What are you bringing to the table?

What happened to class and elegance?

When did we become so jaded that issues like domestic violence failed to evoke emotions and a deep desire within us to change?

It's not the Black man that's endangered.
It's us.
This is the State of the Black Woman
This is what we have come to be
As for me...
I'm phenomenal
Phenomenally.

-Jasmine D. Taylor (Jaz)
12/5/08

For my sis Brittany Ersery. Love you girl!

Miss Brittany Ersery

Find A Way or Make One

I've been knocked on my ass for the last time. As I expected, my body has readjusted its settings to transition into a mindset of a fighter. It's well into the wee hours in the morning and I managed to pull myself off of the computer, only to pick up my phone to write this post. One of Clark Atlanta University's motto is "Find A Way or Make One." I used to live by that. When you need a solid solution to a problem, you'll find yourself digging into the inner depths of you just to figure out every possible option. I remember watching this Whoopi Goldberg movie, where she kept a box of ideas her boss rejected. In a clutch she pulled them out when she was running her own business and didn't need the approval of her boss. I'm in a clutch, and damn right I'm taking it there.

VIA Sister Paterson's request, I'll soon be finding an alternative place to live. I found the perfect studio apartment, but events leading up to the eventual foreclosure of my home have left me with less than desirable credit. I want this place, and I will try hard to get it even if my cosigner doesn't get approved. 

My first taste of making my own way was when I realized that if I could drop $2,000 to pay the lease in full, I wouldn't need a cosigner. I don't know how the hell that's gonna happen, but it got the ball rolling. I immediately updated my craigslist ads selling my stove and advertising my writing/editing services. Then I priced other things to sell. From there, I got proactive and brushed the cobwebs from my Elance profile and submitted proposals for a few projects. Elance limits me to 3 free proposals/mo so I began exploring other options. I checked the "writing gigs" in Kansas City's craigslist. After realizing that I provide virtual services, I moved on to Atlanta's craigslist, then Austin's, and on down the list until I pulled myself off of the computer.

Her Royal Flyyness is back!

I remember when one of my big sisters taught me how to properly fight in school while getting in as little trouble as possible. She told me never hit first. If you hit first then you started the fight, and you would be the one to get in the most trouble. I later learned that if you don't hit first, you run the possibility of getting knocked the fuck out of giving that bitch the upper-hand. You also have to show moxy to be that first hitter. You are officially writing a check that your ass better be able to cash. That takes guts. Hell, even if you loose, at least you had the balls to try.

That's how I'm feeling now. My balls are full grown and I'm hitting life first before it can get me. I've adopted this new game plan and my body knows it. That's why I'm still awake at 4am. If I sleep, I'll dream. I don't feel like dreaming. I already have a dream. Right now it's time to brainstorm and act so I can achieve my dream.

God forbid I don't get this apartment, I'll be fine. I have a plan B, C & D. Yet and still, I have life by the balls...fingernails gripped in...twisting. Life's a bitch. Treat her as such and run that shit!

Ayo Technology

For over a year I've been putting up with this Cingular 3125 that Nielsen Media Research provided free phone service for as a thank you for participating in one of their panels. The panel ended and it's time for Her Royal Flyyness to get back on her ding! Thanks to my BFF, I was able to get the new T-Mobile G1. So far: I love it.

Yea it's ugly, bulky, and heavy. The Android software fully makes up for it. Besides its appearance, flat keys, and quickness to time out when you are on a call, it's a hit!

I'm not sure what I love most about it. Maybe it's the touch screen that makes me curious as to how I ever lived without it. Perhaps it's the loud speaker system that blasts the streaming radio, my songs, and my ring tones. I must say, this phone has knock. I'm not sure if it's the wonderfully clear camera, the free applications, or the incorporation of Google. Whatever it is, I'm in love.

This phone will not only come in handy during times of boredom where I can play games, watch youtube videos, IM, listen to music, or just surf the net. This phone is also going to save me time. The biggest advantage is the fact that I can use google maps and get directions. If my phone ever gets lost/stolen I can use the GPS to locate it. Best of all, I can finally find my car in a parking lot after a day of shopping!

I anticipate big things from the G1. The Android operating system is a true game changer. I put this in the category of the Sidekick Color. This is a great start that I fully expect T-mobile to improve upon in years coming. I'm looking forward to seeing the applications that developers are going to add to the Marketplace.

My iPod Touch comes in the mail next week so I'll be able to compare the two seeing as the iPod Touch and iPhone are very similar. I already know the iPhone is slimmer, sexier, and the touch screen does more. We'll see what the other differences are. I have the strange feeling that it's going to be like comparing apples to oranges. I also don't know how good of a comparison it will be seing as I am fully in love with Apple products. Only time will tell..

A Black Woman & Her Hair

This weekend I fully intended on posting up some deep or insightful shit. I mean we have a Black President-Elect....It's only right. Unfortunately, all I can focus on is my throbbing head. I'm convinced that nothing awakes the spirit like a fresh hairstyle and an eyebrow wax. While I wasn't feelin' the $15 for my wax, I did get my locks tightened and styled. Whew honey! My head hurts like nobody's business.

Last night as I debated whether to deal with the pain of these braids or just say fuck it and take the chance on getting in contact with my loctician to have her redo them...I thought, I must be stupid. A white woman would never endure such pain for a hairstyle. But then again, I'm not white.

While feeling the wrinkles in my scalp caused by a determined stylist, I thought about what Black women go through for our hair. Here's a list of nutty things we do:

• We get burned and singed by pressing combs
• Every Black women who has ever used a curling iron has sported the forehead burn complete with swooped bang to cover
  
• That sensational burning feeling only a relaxer can give
  
• Trying to comb out your hair after braids is no fun & quite painful
• Braids...I need not say more
• Ponytails so tight our eyes turn chinky
• Those metal clips used when re twisting locks provide a less than desirable feeling
• Pretty Sleeping
  
• Avoid rain like cats and run from it like roaches
• Plastic grocery sacks under swim caps for extra protection
• Tight sew-ins, yanking to get that needle through the braid
• Cricks/Knots in our necks from holding them at angels as we get styled

If you can't identify with at least 5 things in this list, then honey, you just don't have the stuff Ethnic hair is made of! We go through all this pain and struggle just for a flyy hairstyle that others marvel at. Our hair is as much of a work of art as any painting by Picasso. There's nothing like the satisfaction of hearing another woman say, "Your stylist got down on your hair girl!" or having a White woman marvel at the genius that is Ethnic Hair.

So yea, my shit is throbbing. So far I've had 4 Tylenols, 2 Asprins, and countless spritzes of Braid Spray. You gotta do what you gotta do to maintain a certain level of flyyness. I'm willing to pay my dues just like the Black Women before me did. I know that when I walk through that door at work tommorow all eyes will be on me. Haters eat your hearts out!!!...(that post is coming very soon)

Super Ugly

Even the most confident among us have bad days. Today is mine. I feel fat and ugly. I'm bloated, my eyebrows are bushy and my locs need to be tightened. On top of that, my job called and said training will be pushed back from Monday to October 17th. Lastly, I feel cluttered. At my house I had three closets & a bedroom devoted to my clothing. Now that I'm living with Sister Paterson, I have a tiny closet. I'm overwhelmed. What is Her Royal Flyness supposed to do?

10% of flyness is Style, the other 90% is Confidence. I'm going to get dressed for this reggae party tonight and loose myself in the music. Whatever is lacking in your life, sow seeds in that area to get it. I need a confidence boost so tonight I am giving out compliments. Tonight I'll enjoy my alcohol & stuff my face with delicious West Indian food. Tomorrow I'll stop cheating on my lifestyle change and say good bye to fast food. I'll use those extra two weeks I have off to try and make sense of my clothing. Right now I'm just praying that the host of this party got the two hotel rooms cuz I'm seriously not trying to come back into Sister Paterson's evil domain after a night of merryment.

50 Years, 3 Police Cars, 1 Flyy Gal

Note: These are the Flyy ass pony haired shoes I wore during my evening of discovery

Tonight, I was truly FLYY. Gold metallic dress, handmade necklace, pony haired leopard shoes. I was dressed to the nines as always.

This evening I attended my "grandparent's" 50th anniversary celebration (They are really my mom's best friend's parents, but they took me in as their grandchild at a very young age). I came to several relizations while there. First, I couldn't help but wonder if I would find love that lasts a lifetime as they did. As the MC went around the room asking couples married 50+ years I took mental notes:

• Don't be the one to walk away
• Women submit
• Live by your vows
• Men, say "yes ma'am"

It's amazing how these couples live by such simple advice. People are out here spending tons of cash on therapists, books & relationship seminars when all they need to do is just love each other. Have people forgotten what it means to love? Those who know me, know I'm not a Bible fanatic, seeing as it was written AND edited by man during King James' era, but it is the best instruction book I've ever seen concerning the subject of what love truly is.

Afterwards, I was pulled over by THREE, count 'em, THREE police cars for making an illegal left turn in the Westport District. I know I have dark tints, but dammit - Am I really that Gangsta?!