Sunday, October 19, 2008

I Dream of F.I.L.A


With the wheels well in motion for my move back to ATL in July 2009, I've been having these wonderful dreams of my return. I was born and raised in Kansas City but my heart resides in Atlanta. It always has. For 17 years I never really felt like I belonged in KC. The people never got me, I was often misunderstood, and nobody's vision was fuckin' with mine. I wanted out. As soon as the plane touched down in Atlanta for my childhood bestfriend's graduation, I knew I was home.

I can't say I've been to a huge amount of cities, but I have been to tons of airports. If you ever wanna know what a city is about just look there and you'll find your answer. KC has a really sleepy and slow airport but it's high tech. People in the inner city like to think this is a diverse city, but one trip to the airport will set you straight. ATL's airport employees are 90% Black. Travelers are about 65-70% Black. As soon as you step foot in this airport, it's clear you've entered the Black Mecca. ATL's airport is busy yet somehow laid back, consists of more stores than some small town malls, and everybody looks like they have some interesting story to tell. It felt like home to me.

I don't call Kansas City my hometown because it never really felt like home. It's not like I have aunts, uncles and cousins here. My own parents are transplants. Instead, I look at it as my springboard. Gymnasts use a springboard to get a lil extra umph to make their performances look super-human. Kansas City gave me a great education, street sense, and is now allowing me to get my money for my permenant move to Atlanta. If home is really where the heart is, Atlanta is my hometown.

For a person that often dodges sleep, I now run to the bed with hopes of being able to escape my current reality. I know that most of my friends have graduated and possibly left the city, but I don't care. Darwin & Crystal are still there so that's all that matters. In my dreams I go back to school and I get hugs from everybody. All I can really do is just thank them for being there for me through all these years. I'm so appreciative, I just really don't know how to express it and tear up every time. As much as I love dreaming, these dreams force me to embrace my reality and go to work. Most people work hard to survive and provide for their families. I'm working like my life depends on it. I can't afford to spend a second longer in this city then I have to. In Kansas City I merely exist. In Atlanta I live. F.I.L.A

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